DON’T BE A CONDILOVER

What do you think of Muslim condilovers?

This is probably the first time you’ve heard this word. It comes from merging and shortening the two words: conditional and lover. Thus, condilovers are a group of Muslims who say: “Allah, Praise and Glory be to Him, is the One Who gave us life, ordained obligations upon us, and forbade us from haram (forbidden) things, and it is up to Him whether we are happy or miserable. Yet, we find some of His obligations burdensome, and we crave some of the haram things He forbade. So we will use a measured approach with Allah. We’ll perform just enough obligations to ensure the continuity of Allah’s favors with minimum effort. We’ll also allow ourselves some haram to satisfy our desires, but not to the extent that it jeopardizes Allah’s favors or incurs His wrath.”

Do these condilovers, who offer their bare minimum to Allah, correctly understand the relationship between a servant and their Lord?

Is this how we submit ourselves and our emotions to Allah, Lord of all worlds?

Do you recognize this behavior?

The unfortunate reality is that this behavior is displayed by many Muslims; they don’t say it explicitly, but their actions speak louder than words.

Maybe —after reading this— you’ll realize that you are one of them!

There are traits in our personalities whose danger only becomes apparent when we diagnose them without any sugar-coating. We might be shocked and denounce these traits, but the bitter truth is that we do have them to varying degrees. So, let’s examine the personality and behavior of condilovers to find out if we suffer the same ailment; and, if so, to what extent.

A condilover tries to be clever and experimental in their dealings with Allah. They try to discover the tipping point;  at which they can fulfill their haram desires without losing Allah’s blessings.

If they add a sin to their portfolio, they tread carefully. If Allah’s favors remain and no punishment befalls them, they conclude that they did not reach the tipping point and count this sin as a win: another desire fulfilled without losing any of Allah’s favors! But if this sin leads to punishment or loss of a blessing, they conclude that they have tipped the balance, and they quickly stop the sin and declare a state of emergency: supplications, tears, entreaties, good deeds, obedience, etc.

Why?

Because they want the return of the blessing and the lifting of the punishment:

“Whenever someone is touched by hardship, they cry out to Us, whether lying on their side, sitting, or standing. But when We relieve their hardship, they return to their old ways as if they had never cried to Us to remove any hardship!…” (Qur’an Translated Meaning 10:12)

So they supplicate while lying on their side, sitting, or standing; the supplication of one who misses the favors he lost.

“When We show favor to someone, they turn away, acting arrogantly. And when touched with evil, they make endless prayers ˹for good˺.” (Qur’an Translated Meaning 41:51)

They make fervent prayers: the prayers of those who want the blessings back.

What’s worse is that, over time, condilovers become accustomed to this “balance game” with Allah. They start believing that Allah’s blessings upon them are a “right” they are entitled to.

“And if We let them taste mercy from Us after being touched with adversity, they will certainly say, ‘This is what I deserve’…” (Qur’an Translated Meaning 41:50)

Meaning: I deserve this mercy. I deserve these favors.

This person loves Allah Almighty as long as they can maintain His favor and avoid His punishment through this balancing act. So, their love for Allah is conditional upon the continuity of His Blessings —especially worldly Blessings— as those who love Allah conditionally rarely remember the Hereafter.

Now, let’s imagine what happens if this condilover commits a sin and Allah tests them with something they hate. But, this time, even after they declare a state of emergency (pray, ask for forgiveness, plead, and obey), Allah Almighty decrees that the test continues and intensifies.

The condilover will start to wonder: “I have done my part, so why hasn’t Allah done His part?”

Because of the balancing act logic ingrained in him, this person thinks it is their ‘right’ to have the trial lifted and to recover Allah’s favors once they stop sinning and start obeying diligently. Then, if this expectation isn’t fulfilled, their conditional love for Allah falls apart! No wonder, since it was built on a shaky foundation and a distorted understanding of the relationship between a servant and their Lord, Glory and Praise be to Him.

So, on what foundation do we build our love for Allah, Great and AlMighty, so that this love does not fall apart at any moment of our lives?

That’s what we will find out in the next station, Allah willing.

Summary of this section

Look inwardly and assess whether you are a condilover whose  love for Allah is conditional