It’s Okay… Really?

Welcome to the New World Psyche.

And what is that? Well, it’s that it’s okay. You’re okay. Whatever you feel, whatever you do. It’s fine. It’s normal.

If you feel like you want to divorce your parents because they don’t seem to understand you, that’s okay because what do they know about what you want. If you feel like you’re in love with someone of the same gender as yours, it is okay, you don’t have to be embarrassed about it. If you want to get intimate with your boyfriend to see if he’s really the one, it’s okay so that you’ll be able to understand him better. If you want to be able to sit in that inviting bar and gulp down a few of that bartender’s specials, it’s okay, because a little alcohol doesn’t do much harm now, does it?

So, here we are today. When everything’s suddenly become okay and we’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. It’s when we can take pride in doing what we want, what our lusts crave for and then know for certain, that somewhere out in this world, there will be at least that one person who will definitely support you. Maybe not follow you, but support you, and that’s for sure.

So now, it’s all become too easy. Get what you want. Do whatever you like. Because that shrink or protégé will tell you that it’s okay, you’re okay. Feel like taking advantage of that interest-laid savings plan at the new bank? Walking around with a scarf pinned to just let your newly trimmed bangs peek out and show off your tight tee with those hip-hugging pants? Watching movies that border pornography? Smoking a cigarette pack or two? Dancing away with some blonde? Hey, it’s all cool. It’s okay to feel that way, to want it.

But Is It really?

Because, you know what, it is not okay. Was and will never be okay. True we’re not angels who unlike us were created without whims and desires. But Allah, out of his mercy, has granted us the capability to choose right and wrong. We can form opinions and choose to do what we like. So if everything was okay and we weren’t expected to use our free will, why do we have it? It’s too easy to do wrong; that’s what we innately want to do.

We have certainly created man in toil. Does he think none will overcome him? He says (boastfully): ‘I have spent wealth in abundance.’ Does he think that none sees him? Have We not made for him two eyes? And a tongue and two lips? And have shown him the two ways (of good and evil)? [Surat Al-Balad, 90:420]

Don’t fool yourself that it’s okay to cheat on that exam or smoke just one joint. We all have some evil in us. It’s not okay for us to just accept it and live life. We need to realize that. Because if you don’t, you’ll go about wandering aimlessly in life like some drunk man passed out on the sidewalk. He may have gotten his fun, his rush, but that hangover in the morning will leave him unfulfilled, angry and self-hating.

That’s when he’ll know it wasn’t okay for him to do what he’d done the previous night. And, he’ll always regret it. But, if he doesn’t know any better, a few nights later, you’ll see him in that same place crumpled in a heap all over again. This however shouldn’t be you. You’re a Muslim. And you know that it’s not okay. It’s not fine if your mind is going somewhere it shouldn’t or your hormones are in overdrive or your body is doing the wrong thing. Accept that. Take responsibility. Then, do something about it.

Except him who has done wrong and afterwards has changed evil for good; then surely I am Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. [Surat Al-Naml, 27:11]

Don’t be tempted by the idea that there is no good versus bad; that it’s all some huge blurry area in between where you can only be. Just because people’s perceptions may change, it doesn’t alter the fact that what Allah made halal and lawful (okay) will always continue to be halal, and what Allah made haram and unlawful will always be just that—not okay. Now unless we admit to our illnesses, we will never find the remedy. So, forget about that ‘blow to your self-esteem’ advice from the shrink. Look into your heart. Hold your hands up to the sky. Let your eyes shed tears. Admit that it’s not okay. Ask Allah for forgiveness. Resolve to change yourself. Do what is right.

Then, when you do reach the threshold of Paradise? Remember, that is when it will really be all okay.

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